The Kangaroo court sat again on Tuesday morning to consider evidence from three seperate matters that occured on the first day in Fiji.
John Cahill was alleged to have been seen walking through the resort in the early hours of Tuesday morning with the resort clock from the reception desk to ensure he knew what the time was. He was also found in the early hours by hotel security practising his yoga moves on the slippery dip in the children's playground, upside down and asleep at the time. John was found guilty as charged.
Harry Jones was accused by his fellow playing tourists, whilst the court was in session, of to much self awareness, bum slapping, nipple tampering and topless parading through the resort. Harry was actually asleep in his room whilst the court was in session and he was found Guilty as charged in absentia.
The most serious charge of the day was levelled at Murray McGain and Steve Crawford for their late arrival to the first tour meeting on Monday morning. Murray had stressed to all tourists on Sunday that the meeting was compulsory and to be there on time. At 9.01am, to the great delight of the touring party, the door to the conference room was locked and both Murray and Steve were found guily as charged.
Murray took legal advice from his council, Rob Davies, and attemted to deflect all blame onto Steve, unsuccessfully. In sentencing, the court considered the seriousness of their offence and declared that they be given the Flipper award for the day. This award entails the wearing, at all times in public, of the special Flipper tour hats.....
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Who am I ?
The tour unexpectedly welcome a celebrity on Monday night at the resort's Zero bar. On an evening that was designed for the father's to get to know each other at the start of the tour; family, work, interest's and those 'special things" that we would not know about each other, there were a number of absolute classic moments, but none greater than one of the touring father's admitting to stardom.There were notable speaches from Barry Towns, who attempted to explain his 
late arrival to the buses on sunday morning as a timing test for tour management to see the quality of their preperation; Peter Farrugia gave a demonstration of his ability to drink a schooner whilst standing on his head and Ilkka Tales spoke from experience, with a tear in his eye, of the dangers of handling chilli and then going to the bathroom!
late arrival to the buses on sunday morning as a timing test for tour management to see the quality of their preperation; Peter Farrugia gave a demonstration of his ability to drink a schooner whilst standing on his head and Ilkka Tales spoke from experience, with a tear in his eye, of the dangers of handling chilli and then going to the bathroom!
BUT.....the most surprising revelation came from James Campbell who admitted to being regularly mistaken for not one celebrity, but three. First was his likeness to Kevin Costner (who remembers Waterworld?), next came the obvious mistake that people make with his similarity to Nicholas Cage;and the final admission that brought the tour to it's most important point to date was his open admision that he is James Bond! This situation is at it's worst when he is coming our of the surf at Newport beach.For his honesty, James was made to drink many, many beers.......
Monday, July 13, 2009
Zero to Hero
What a sensational first day on Sonaisalo. The entertainment crew had us split into 7 teams for a competitive round of kayak racing and volleyball. The kayak race was a basic relay around a moving bouy, a big plastic paddle steamer powered by pretty boy Harry Jones and Captain Cool Adam Hannigan. The first paddlers set the tempo for the rest of the teams. Unfortunately for the Wau's, their first paddler was Virgil Townsend. Virgil set himself up fabuosly up on the bow of the kayak and proceeded slowly out to the steamer until he capsized. There he stayed for the rest of the race, bobbing up and down in the gentle waters of the Pacific, unable to clamber back upon his trusty stead.
There was a lot of controversy on the winner, I still maintain that the Coco Locos won, but the win was awarded to the Bamboo Breakers this morning, only because they had the numbers in the room drowning out my protests.
The kayaking was followed by volleyball. Nigel Leck astonished us all with his aerial smashes, Jack Slack Smith showed why he won't be picked for the olympics for Volleyball whilst we saw moments of brilliance from young Tyson Damp (clearly relieved he didn't have to play with a dolphin hat) and Virgil Townsend who redeemed his earlier sins with a chant emanating from the crowd awed by the athletic display he put on. As one of the dads said, Virgil Townsend "a true Zero to Hero!" Untiki were declared the final winners, much to the chagrin of Eddie Wayling.
The afternoon was spent organising the teams and coaches for today's games. On announcing Greg Donlan as one of the coaches, Greg declared Monday as the happiest day of his life.
There was a lot of controversy on the winner, I still maintain that the Coco Locos won, but the win was awarded to the Bamboo Breakers this morning, only because they had the numbers in the room drowning out my protests.
The kayaking was followed by volleyball. Nigel Leck astonished us all with his aerial smashes, Jack Slack Smith showed why he won't be picked for the olympics for Volleyball whilst we saw moments of brilliance from young Tyson Damp (clearly relieved he didn't have to play with a dolphin hat) and Virgil Townsend who redeemed his earlier sins with a chant emanating from the crowd awed by the athletic display he put on. As one of the dads said, Virgil Townsend "a true Zero to Hero!" Untiki were declared the final winners, much to the chagrin of Eddie Wayling.
The afternoon was spent organising the teams and coaches for today's games. On announcing Greg Donlan as one of the coaches, Greg declared Monday as the happiest day of his life.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Crawford and McGain, Late Again
Day 1, the resort looks fantastic, there is a commanding rock in the middle of the pool. As soon as we arrived 48 boys were on it jostling for King of the Mountain last night. As we sit here typing away, Steve Crawford managed to climb onto the rock without anyone looking. The boys quickly dispatched him much to his dismay and the fathers laughter.
The night wasn't too late, I managed to go to bed at 1:30am and the others were done by 2:00am, which is midnite Sydney time. The boys were tucked in and asleep by 11pm Fiji time, or so we thought! Coconut throwing onto roofs and balcony was reported by guests this morning between midnite and 2:00am, forensic tests are underway to determine whether it was the boys or the dads doing the throwing....
Barry Towns continued his fine form from Bilgola Surf Club to Fiji. He made his way back to his room at 2:00am to wake his bed buddie James Campbell to let him in. He is now known as Barfly Barry.
We had a full bench of the Kangaroo Court this morning. The Court quickly despatched rulings on one of their own, sentencing Angus and Fergus James to 24 hours of public humiliation or until they sing the song to Flipper in public for their disregard to "Tour Etiquette and Clothing".
The court had taken note of the Kiwi supporters on tour. Gene Burns, Kahu Andronicus and Nick Styler (for supporting the poms), for their sins, had to do the Haka. Video attached...
Each morning, after breakfast, we all meet in a conference room at 9:00am for a briefing of our coming days activities and any judicial matters to be dealt by the Kangaroo Court. At the end of todays meeting at 9:30ish Steve Crawford and his bed buddie Murray McGain stumbled in. Steve's excuse was that Murray "wanted one last cuddle". No doubt this will be dealt with harshly by tomorrow's court.
The night wasn't too late, I managed to go to bed at 1:30am and the others were done by 2:00am, which is midnite Sydney time. The boys were tucked in and asleep by 11pm Fiji time, or so we thought! Coconut throwing onto roofs and balcony was reported by guests this morning between midnite and 2:00am, forensic tests are underway to determine whether it was the boys or the dads doing the throwing....
Barry Towns continued his fine form from Bilgola Surf Club to Fiji. He made his way back to his room at 2:00am to wake his bed buddie James Campbell to let him in. He is now known as Barfly Barry.
We had a full bench of the Kangaroo Court this morning. The Court quickly despatched rulings on one of their own, sentencing Angus and Fergus James to 24 hours of public humiliation or until they sing the song to Flipper in public for their disregard to "Tour Etiquette and Clothing".
The court had taken note of the Kiwi supporters on tour. Gene Burns, Kahu Andronicus and Nick Styler (for supporting the poms), for their sins, had to do the Haka. Video attached...
Each morning, after breakfast, we all meet in a conference room at 9:00am for a briefing of our coming days activities and any judicial matters to be dealt by the Kangaroo Court. At the end of todays meeting at 9:30ish Steve Crawford and his bed buddie Murray McGain stumbled in. Steve's excuse was that Murray "wanted one last cuddle". No doubt this will be dealt with harshly by tomorrow's court.
Safe n Sound, almost
It may come as a surprise to some of you, but we all arrived safe and sound in Sonaisali. Our gear turned up, most of it at 1:30 in the morning.
The first Kangaroo court was held at Sydney Airport. Tyson Damp was sentenced to 24 hours of public humiliation for his vagrant systematic abuse of tour property. In testimony for Tyson, Gary Damp made no attempt to support his son, distancing himself by providing evidence against his own son. The Justices immediately swooped on this evidence by Gary and sentenced Gary for the crime of "Unsupportive Father" having to carry the same heavy burden of public humiliation as Tyson.
The flight was a bit rough, a little bit too rough for young Dom Allen. Before we had even taxied off the runway Dom was dumping his lunch across four seats. He is up and running today, Jim did a magic job holding the plastic bag closed against Dom's mouth to maximise the spray effect. Our plane was delayed for 30 minutes for cleaning.
The boys had stocked up with lollies and chocolates in duty free before boarding. It was great to see the lollies being shared by all the boys. It was noted that young Louie Barkley, led the feeding frenzy, having bought half a kilo of chocolate, he quietly sat on his own and ate it all.
Barry Towns continued his fine form from home to plane. He slept the whole way to Fiji.
Louie Wayling, James Allo and Tom Hargreaves an unsavoury looking group of boys were stopped by customs and body searched. It was a surprise to us all that their dad's got through, images of Schappele flirted through our heads. Their penance wasn't heavy, customs ordered the boys to clean their rugby boots before entering Fiji.
All in all, the boys were well behaved on the plane. Early hours on the tour......
The honour of first Fiji Bitter goes to John Cahill, within 45 seconds of clearing customs, before picking up his bags he had a cold one in his hand. 3 minutes later he dropped it and smashed it to pieces delighting the thirsty dads who didn't manage to buy one!
Happy days ahead!
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Tears and fears
What a huge turnout for the final sendoff. I didn't see many tears from family, clearly their thoughts had turned elsewhere as the buses rolled out of Newport carpark on a magic Sunday morning. I did overhear a couple of yummymummies saying that they were off to Coolangatta for some cosmetic surgery, is this the new Newport mantra, "Dads away breasts at play"?
The rumours were swilling fast through the crowd, had our diligent treasurer Barry Towns scooted off to Sth America with our hard earned funds, or was he still under the table at Bilgola Surf Life Saving Club celebrating it's 60th birthday. Fortunately he made the bus, 24 minutes late which was duly noted by the Court reps, we are eagerly awaiting Lisa's version of events on this tardiness, we cannot make much sense out of Barry.
The bus passengers noted the heavy handedness of our court jesters (judges). Justice James (angus) claims that the judiciary is above the law, claiming he is exempt from wearing the uniform. We all await with bated breath the first Kangaroo Court on Monday morning, will the Judges maintain a suitable standard by reprimanding one of their own for such a vagrant abuse of tour protocol.
Steve Crawford has been reviewing the tour questionaire's by the players. Clearly, a theme is setting in as to the most likely candidates to appear before the courts. The first candidates will be Tyson Damp and Josh Tyler for their reckless disrepect for tour gear, Barry Towns for not skipping to Mexico and Justice James for blatantly disregarding tour protocol. I did see a couple of Dads with kids in tow heading into the calm of the first class lounge, elitism is at large on our tour and this should be stamped out immediately by the judges.
Flight is called, happy days!
The rumours were swilling fast through the crowd, had our diligent treasurer Barry Towns scooted off to Sth America with our hard earned funds, or was he still under the table at Bilgola Surf Life Saving Club celebrating it's 60th birthday. Fortunately he made the bus, 24 minutes late which was duly noted by the Court reps, we are eagerly awaiting Lisa's version of events on this tardiness, we cannot make much sense out of Barry.
The bus passengers noted the heavy handedness of our court jesters (judges). Justice James (angus) claims that the judiciary is above the law, claiming he is exempt from wearing the uniform. We all await with bated breath the first Kangaroo Court on Monday morning, will the Judges maintain a suitable standard by reprimanding one of their own for such a vagrant abuse of tour protocol.
Steve Crawford has been reviewing the tour questionaire's by the players. Clearly, a theme is setting in as to the most likely candidates to appear before the courts. The first candidates will be Tyson Damp and Josh Tyler for their reckless disrepect for tour gear, Barry Towns for not skipping to Mexico and Justice James for blatantly disregarding tour protocol. I did see a couple of Dads with kids in tow heading into the calm of the first class lounge, elitism is at large on our tour and this should be stamped out immediately by the judges.
Flight is called, happy days!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)